Amy zipped up her dress and turned to look at her reflection in the mirror, taking herself in from all sides.
She thought about her cousin’s wedding that she was about to attend, but she was abruptly interrupted by a critical voice that she knew all too well. It was that hurtful voice in her head that continually told her the same messages. It told her she did not look “good enough”, told her she was too “fat”. With that cruel voice taking over her mind and body, Amy felt the return of those familiar feelings of insecurity, despair, and of being “less” than.
This was the first time in over ten years that Amy would be at a social event with her entire extended family of aunties, uncles, cousins—and Amy was not looking forward to seeing them again. They always made her “feel bad” about herself and always commented on her appearance.
Amy recalled all of the awful comments that her aunties and uncles had made over the years, telling her that she was “too big”. They made hurtful comments like “Have you put on weight?” or “You will never find a partner.” Or her all time favourite: “Are you really going to eat that!”
Now, ten years later, those memories and words still haunted her and played out in her mind as if they had just happened yesterday.
As Amy faced the mirror for the last time before leaving, she could not shake off those feelings of self-loathing.
Unfortunately this painful and hurtful story is one very familiar to many individuals as they strive to find acceptability and love in a world so dominated by external appearance.
Society advocates messages of shame, humiliation, and ridicule to those of us who struggle with weight issues.
Many people, including young adults, struggle with their body image, which all too often results in low self-esteem, low self-worth, and self-loathing. Negative self-talk reigns as they lose the battle in measuring up to the standards imposed by friends, family, and society at large, all of which results in running the story of “I am fat” in their life.
This story has far reaching consequences as self-doubt, humiliation, and ridicule can prevent individuals from reaching their potential greatness. When one believes that their appearance is not good enough—and therefore they are not enough—they stop trying, stop believing in themselves, and stop living as if they matter.
This is the greatest tragedy of all, as dreams, ideas, inventions, novels, plays, art, and stories stay buried inside as unopened amazing gifts, robbing themselves and others of inspiration, solutions, beauty, and greatness.
So today’s challenge is to begin making peace with your appearance by looking at yourself with loving eyes. Turn your attention and focus on your amazing gifts of creativity, imagination, and intuition, and marvel at their capacity. For these gifts know no limits, no boundaries, and no comparison.
Use your imagination and creativity to find the talent you have hidden within you. It may be singing, drawing, painting, dancing, writing, playing music, sewing, cooking or a vast array of other talents. Go through the list and find your passion, find your greatness, and find yourself.
For this is the beginning of looking at yourself with loving eyes, with eyes of wonder and amazement.
Deborah Ruth
Storyteller
