Crystal was devastated. This was her third relationship in three years, but it had now ended.
All her friends had warned her that Chris was not the one. They said that he would betray and hurt her, and they had turned out to be right.
Crystal had loved and trusted Chris totally, and in her mind, she had already planned their future together.
Then she had found out that he had not been faithful to her.
Unfortunately, the tell-tale signs had been there all along. Everyone else had seen them and told her—but she hadn’t been able to see them herself.
Crystal felt betrayed, hurt, and totally deceived. But more than that, she now felt ashamed and embarrassed because she had not seen what had been so obvious to others. She began to question how she had been so wrong.
But of more concern was the question now circling her mind: how could she ever trust someone again in her next relationship? And so started the story of “I don’t trust others”.
This is a very familiar story for many people struggling with betrayals in relationships. One of the main reasons for lack of trust is because individuals see what they want to see rather than what is really presented. In fact, we attribute and project qualities that we admire onto other people, and in so doing, we don’t see the real person.
Further, we may have many beliefs and stories regarding relationships that may not be serving us. In fact, they may be sabotaging us and our relationship.
However, as with all beliefs and stories that reside in the unconscious mind, the only way forward is through awareness, questioning, and challenging the stories you have about relationships.
So this week’s challenge is to become more aware of your stories. Take the time to examine your views on relationships and the role each person plays within these relationships. Consider your expectations, your history, and also your family and their relationships.
Go deep within your story and your beliefs. Write down what you find and look for the patterns. By doing this work, you will start to question and challenge your beliefs, and you will be in a position to decide whether it still makes sense for your life today.
Remember, a story only has power over you as long as you believe it and keep replaying it in your mind. So if you find you do not like your story about relationships, know that you can reframe it. You can create and reimagine a story that you would like to have played out in your relationship.
Forever creating
Deborah Ruth
