The Story Of “You’re So Selfish”

Another week—and another Friday night. Kate was looking forward to staying home and having a quiet evening, relaxing in front of the T.V. and sleeping in on Saturday morning.

Her working week had been very stressful with many deadlines to meet. Kate had worked late into the night for most of the week and she was physically and mentally drained.

As Kate indulged in her thoughts of her much-needed relaxation, she received a call from one of her closest friends, Mia, inviting her to go out.

This was the last thing Kate wanted to do. However, Mia was insistent. She said that she had met a new guy and didn’t want to go out alone. Besides, she said, Friday night was “time to party”.

Kate could not bear the thought of going out, mingling with others and pretending to have a good time, especially when she was so tired. She just wanted to go home, so Kate politely declined the invitation and told Mia that she would have to take a rain check.

Mia, however, would not take no for an answer. First came the pleading and the begging, which then turned into anger. It wasn’t long until she hurled the words “you’re so selfish” in Kate’s direction.

This was a story Kate was familiar with. She had heard it constantly from her friends each and every time their needs conflicted with hers.

We have all been in situations where someone has attempted to persuade us to do something and we have politely declined. And even though we may feel physically and emotionally exhausted and our mental health may be suffering, we still lie awake in bed feeling selfish and guilty.

This is because many of us connect the word “selfish” with negative connotations, such as being self-centred, self-involved, and only looking after our own interests without considering others.

However, being selfish and looking after your own health and well-being is not selfish. It is a matter of taking care of yourself and your needs.

This week’s challenge is to be selfish and care for yourself without feeling guilty. It may be sleeping when you feel tired, or perhaps giving yourself some “alone time”. Take time for you by turning off your social notifications and not looking at work emails at night.

It is time to think differently and release the idea that caring for your emotional, mental, and physical needs is a bad thing. When you are always giving, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and tired.

So this week, be selfish. Look after your own needs without the guilt—and feel the difference.

Deborah Ruth

Forever creating