Rachael had settled in for the night. She had a cup of hot tea on her lap and her legs up on the couch as she watched her favourite TV show, Masterchef.
Rachael loved cooking ever since she could remember. She even hosted her first dinner party at the age of 13, to the delight of her parents and their close friends. It had been a successful night, and Rachael had continued to cook whenever she could whilst attending school.
Nowadays, it seemed that her love of cooking was only satisfied through watching other people create amazing food. She always watched people follow their dreams of being chefs on reality shows.
Despite her love for cooking, and the fact that she was extremely good at it, her parents had never approved of it as a career choice.
Rachael’s parents did not believe that being a chef or working in a restaurant was a viable career, especially since they had worked so hard and spent so much money to send her to one of the best private schools to get a good education.
In their opinion, they did not spend all this money on schooling for her to become “just a chef.” No, they wanted her to have opportunities that they did not have. They wanted her to have a meaningful and prestigious job, like being a lawyer.
Rachael did not want to displease her parents. She was well aware of the sacrifices they had made, so as an obedient child, she turned her attention to studying law, giving up on her dream of becoming a chef.
Thus began the story of not pursuing her dream. The story of feeling guilty and shame because her parents had sacrificed so much. The story of not being grateful and not appreciating what lengths others had gone to.
Unfortunately, many young people go through a very similar scenario of being torn between following their passion and living their dream, and feeling obligated and pressured to please their parents.
It is most often the case that children follow the path dictated by their parents because they want to receive their love and approval. This is a natural response.
Many parents believe that their actions are validated because of their own life history and experiences. After all, they only want the best for their children, and sometimes they may not agree with their child’s choice of career, dismissing it as flighty or not economically viable.
So how do you choose which path to follow when either path will make someone unhappy?
It is a question that only you can decide. No one can tell you what to do in your life. This is your path, and no matter what path you choose, you will need to reconcile it with your mind, body, and spirit.
However, know that whatever choice you make, it is not set in stone. You may choose to follow one path, only to find that it leads you to another. Or you could find a way to follow both desires.
Your challenge is to be flexible and open to different options, and release the idea that it is only one way or the other. Learn to be open. Use your imagination and your creative energy to see things differently.
You may be surprised at how many options and choices you really have when you change your perspective.
Remember, in the end, it you who get to choose your life. If you don’t like your choice, you can always change it and choose something new.
Deborah Ruth
Storyteller
