Jessie didn’t know what to do. She felt trapped and she hated feeling this way, but what else could she do? She could not turn her back on her family and just pursue whatever she wanted. Who would support her family?
So she would need to suck it up and continue doing a job that did not fulfill her, one which she resented each and every day. Every time she thought about her job, she thought about how it was taking her time, draining her of joy, and depriving her of something she loved, but she could not find an answer of how to support her family. After all, her family had become accustomed to living a certain lifestyle—a lifestyle she herself was not willing to give up.
So Jessie resigned herself to the fact that she was “stuck” in her life, with no options unless she was willing to give up and sacrifice her lifestyle.
It was not that she did not enjoy her work—she loved being a lawyer, and she got on well with all her team and co-workers. It was just the constant nagging that kept playing inside her head; that constant anxiety she felt in her body and her heart. That feeling of emptiness, of not being fulfilled, of living with no purpose.
It was the same routine day in and day out. Getting up early in the morning to get ready for work, and then coming home to the family at the end of the day.
It was not that there was anything particularly wrong with Jessie’s life; she had what most people would consider to be a successful life—but her real love, what she longed to do, was to read and write. How she would love to write a novel.
However, the thought of writing a novel almost scared her as much as being in her meaningless job. Too many questions, with no answers. What would she write about? Would it be any good? What if she failed?
Jessie decided that it was better to be safe, to be in the known and the comfortable, rather than to follow her dream and enter into the unknown.
In making that decision, Jessie resigned her life to one of mediocrity. She decided to put her dreams on the shelf and never reach for her greatness.
Many of us know what it feels like to “feel stuck” in a situation where we convince ourselves that we cannot get out of. It could be a relationship, a job, or even a health condition. Something where we believe that we have no choice in the matter; we just accept it as our lot in life and give up on pursuing our dream.
All the while, we never realise that this belief of “staying stuck” is a trick of the mind, a conditioned response to keep us safe and secure in the known—to keep us from taking the risk of going into unknown, unfamiliar territory. This response is one of the many faces of fear, as the mind’s job is to protect us from any perceived danger or threat.
It is fear that limits us from becoming all that we are capable of. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, fear of lack of money. It is this story that we tell ourselves over and over that prevents us from taking any action, and ensures that we stay “feeling stuck” with no choice.
In life there are always choices. Choices as to how we use our time, our money, and our resources: choice in relation to what we believe, and if those beliefs are serving us or not; choice as to whether we want to re-frame our story, or “stay stuck” in our limiting beliefs. The choice is always up to you.
Returning to our story of Jessie, she always had the choice to spend time each day writing one page, and within a year, she would have enough pages for her novel. It did not matter what she wrote about, for just the act of writing each day would allow her to feel more fulfilled, alleviate her fears, and allow her to grow in confidence. In this way, she would still have been looking after and supporting her family, but she would have re-framed her story of “I am stuck” to “I am writing each day” by taking action and writing. The limits of that new story are unlimited.
Today’s challenge is to examine any area in your life where you may be playing the story of “I am stuck” and to examine the fear behind it. Gently expose it and bring it into the conscious mind so that you can access whether it is a story you wish to continue to rerun, or whether you want to reshape it, rewrite it, and re-frame it.
Know with certainty that if you change your story, you will change your life.
Deborah Ruth
Storyteller
